Category Archives: Expat moments

One In A Million…

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A week or so ago I was flicking through the Metro newspaper on the train to work when a headline caught my eye – The Science Of Falling In Love. Apparently there are more than 15 million singletons in the UK (or there were on the 29th March at any rate). I had no idea I was part of such a large contingent.

While the article turned out to be a glorified advertorial for dating site, e-harmony, I was mildly horrified at the statistic that 4 in 5 people lie about their age, weight and height online. Not that they lie – although while not surprised, I do find that a little perturbing – but that they feel they must in order to attract a partner.

Has our online world really forced us down such a shallow path? I mean I love a flattering profile pic as much as the next person but to lie about the essentials seems a little counter-productive. Doesn’t it all come out in the wash if things go well?

And I do mean the wash. Let’s talk about Spanx for a minute. For those of you who have been living under a rock don’t know, Spanx is a brand of body shaping undergarment – control pants or fixit knickers if you will – that boost the butts, trim the thighs and nip the waists of women (and some men) the world over. By all accounts these garments can reduce you by up to a dress size. (Blokes reading this should substitute whatever the equivalent for yourselves is here.) It seems that humankind seeks to emulate some idealistic form – whatever that may be – that will give us the best chance of attracting a mate. 

Whether that be for one night only or for many nights to come, my point is this. Eventually it comes off, leaving what you previously squeezed into some fairly uncomfortable underwear, out there in all its glory.

There’s knowing how to make the best of what you’ve got – I’m a pear-shaped, short-legged sheila so let’s just say skinny jeans are not my best friend – but this body shaping stuff is supremely uncomfortable. The pragmatic side of me also wonders whether this means that we need a wardrobe in two sizes – under control and out of control.

So where is the line? I could go on for ages here – there’s makeup, body treatments (from fake tan to cosmetic enhancement), hair extensions and even the humble WonderBra – and I’ve tried a few. But in considering singledom from my view of the world as a participant in the marketing profession (yes there’s another little snippet about me for you), is there a whiff of caveat emptor in today’s dating landscape? How far should one go to attract attention before the advertising becomes misleading and deceptive?

I’m told it’s just a numbers game and you’ve got to be ‘in it to win it’. But is it really…

…or is it possible to employ a little creative license, get lucky and beat the odds?

Flattened By Easter…

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As you know I like a little baking foray every now and then. Easter is a very opportune time for this as a) I love Hot Cross Buns and b) every one of the little blighters here comes with a healthy dose of mixed peel (which I cannot eat being allergic to oranges). So as I started last year meaning to go on, it was time for Gidday’s Easter Buns.

Buoyed in anticipation of lashings of butter on warm fruity buns, I weighed and mixed and kneaded and poked the fruit in. Waited an hour then formed my little parcels of Easter yumminess ready for the oven.

But something didn’t feel right and I knew before I took them out of the oven (actually I knew before that but I was in denial) that there would be no light and fruity bundles scoffed at Gidday HQ today.

There was no rise. No uplift. The yeast had lain inactive. Inert. Literally flattened by the chill in the air. (In retrospect, I should have left it in the bathroom – the warmest room at Gidday HQ – to do its ‘thing’.)

So I spent 4 hours today making fruity – and inedible – rock cakes.

Buggar.

The 39 Steps…British and Brilliant!

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Last night I popped down to The Criterion in Piccadilly Circus to see The 39 Steps. I read the book several years ago and then saw the Hitchcock film (with its amended ending) so I was looking forward to seeing how this tale of murder and mystery translated not only on to the stage but also into a comedy as well.

The play follows the Hitchcock movie plot pretty faithfully and there’s a clever mix of effects, movement and acting which allows for the transition of each stage of Richard Hannay’s thrilling and fast-moving tale.

The show is billed as 4 actors playing 130 characters over 100 minutes. The three female roles – the predatory Annabella Schmidt, the innocent Margaret and the ‘do-right’ Pamela – are played by Catherine Bailey.

Catherine Bailey plays Pamela, love interest for the protagonist, Richard Hannay

These are necessary roles in the story and Catherine does a great job with all of them. But this play, by its very nature, throws its male characters into the limelight.

Andrew Alexander plays Hannay with manic, John Cleese-ian fervour moving from privileged languor to adolescent awkwardness to splendidly British stoicism as Hannay evades the law, the criminal and any costume changes. 

The police chase through the train and across the roof achieves just the right mix of panicked flight  

That leaves 126 characters. And these are brought to life by Stephen Critchlow and Ian Hughes providing moment after moment of comic ingenuity…

An early moment of hilarity from Stephen Critchlow and Ian Hughes

So it is indeed 4 actors playing 130 characters over 100 minutes.

It is also inordinately clever and brilliantly funny. If you are in London and fancy anything from a giggle to a guffaw, make sure you catch this.

Travelling The Australian Way…

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A couple of weeks ago I forked out rather a lot of the old cash-ola to fly Down Under for Christmas. It’s quite a good deal for that time of year but still almost double what any self-respecting Aussie would pay to be wedged in cattle class for 24 hours.

So imagine my consternation when I opened my emails to find this…

…a brilliant April Fools antic from travel afficionados, STA.

All I can say is it’s just as well I read the fine print!

Your 2012 Five A Day – April

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It’s April already. Seriously peeps, just where has the year gone?

This month’s Violent Veg theme is acceptance, a topic much written about by expat experts the world over. When does your new country/city/town/suburb/street become ‘home’? And what’s important – speaking the lingo, making friends with the locals, finding your patch?

Maybe it’s all three.

Eddie strayed onto the wrong patch, where some rotten vegetables…
…gave him a nasty veggie.
I’ve read that it takes 18 months to 2 years to feel settled in a new home. My own experience of moving to London echoes this with happy contentment arriving about 18 months into my foray into expat life.

So it would seem that my recent ‘upping sticks’ to Fab Finchley is still in its honeymoon phase and by my own reckoning, I have about 13 months ‘to go’. But in lunching with an ex-Fab-Finchley-ite friend yesterday, I’ve suddenly discovered a few nooks and crannies to add to the list of fabulous-ness that I need to explore here. Beautiful gardens, stately homes and even a weekly soiree of the ballroom dancing kind may just be on the cards.

Just hope the natives I find there are friendly!

Open Day…Opening Minds…

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I’m just back from The Guardian newspaper’s inaugural Open Day. I hadn’t really heard much about it until this week but was drawn in by an email inviting me (as a subscriber to all things Guardian Book Club) to an interview with Robert Harris to celebrate the 20th anniversary of his first novel, Fatherland.

I’ve not read Fatherland but I have read Imperium and Pompeii (see number 41. in 2011’s Book Nook exploits). So based on these two and a successful first Guardian Book Club outing late last year, I bought myself a ticket.

The premise of Fatherland is this: What would happen if Hitler had won the war?  It’s an interesting idea. What sort of world might we live in now had just one or two things fallen Hitler’s way?

There is actually a genre for this sort of book – Alternate History – where facts are extruded into the what if scenarios of the author’s imagination and with Harris’ CV including time as political editor at The Observer, I was looking forward to an interesting discussion.

And what a thought provoking hour it turned out to be. Harris admitted that he had not read this novel since it was published in 1992 but spoke of his love for finding out the facts and then exploring the possibilities around them. Not for him the realms of pure fantasy: he actually likened his lack of appreciation to garlic and vampires. But his passion for his genre was evident as he spoke about the extraordinary lifecycle of power and politics, proposing views of his own and discussing the opinions of others. 

His own exploration of political power both as a political journalist/editor and as a writer suggests to him that the horror of the Holocaust is not so far away from you and I: the persuasive nature of power nurtures behaviours which promote survival and he talked about the Nazi Party as simply a bunch of lawyers and administrators who, as the majority of humankind would do, protected their own interests – families, friends, life itself –  and found themselves embroiled in a new, albeit inconceivable, staus quo.

Harris also spoke of books he’s loved and Kingsley Amis and Martin Cruz-Smith rated a mention as writers of particular brilliance. (Although upon racing home, I was disappointed to find no mention of Gorky Park on Amazon’s list of e-books for Audrey – boo! I say).

Much to my relief the discussion was so varied and interesting that interviewer John Mullan did not have the opportunity to quiz Harris about the ending of Fatherland (which a book club interview usually does) so it is with unexpected curiosity that I can look forward to tucking into Fatherland sans spoilers.

Harris’ eloquence and his knowledge of and passion for his subject made the hour go very quickly and I’m glad I ignored the delights of my sunny back patio this afternoon for this opportunity to explore some new ideas. And as I wandered back to Kings Cross station in the sunshine, I found myself smitten all over again with this fabulous city I’ve come to call home. 

Afternoon Delight…

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Today, I was all set to post about other things. Not Mother’s Day mind, as ‘mine’ happens in May (but am wishing all Mums celebrating today a fab day just the same). But I had a few ideas from the week and following on from my two part ‘danger mouse’ thriller, I was keen to change the rhythm and tone again to keep things fresh and interesting for all of you lovely Gidday-ers.

But I’ve had the most delicious couple of hours and I just HAD to tell you about it.

I’ve been to the cinema.

So what? I hear you say.

No I’ve been to THE cinema, the delightful Phoenix Cinema in East Finchley.

It’s what I call a proper cinema with old fashioned, theatre style seats, lots of leg room  and a shiny, swishy gold curtain at the front.

Purpose built in 1910, it’s a single screen cinema, and was actually saved from the wrecking ball in 1985 by the formation of The Phoenix Cinema Trust, a charitable organisation that runs the theatre for the community, reinvesting its profits both in education and maintaining this wonderful tribute to cinematic history. 

I used to live close by a similar independent cinema in Melbourne (The Classic in Elsternwick for any Melburnites reading this). My old home-town has quite a few thriving independent cinemas and it’s something I had missed a little while living in South West London. On a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, I used to love wandering down and submitting myself to a screening of something I’d choose simply by standing at the Box Office and seeing what was about to start.

Anyhow, The Phoenix is not far from the new Gidday HQ and this afternoon there was a ‘From the Archives’ screening of Imitation of Life, a ‘legendary Hollywood melodrama’ (which I’d never heard of) about racial identity. I thought it seemed a pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

The story centres firstly on Lora, a young widow chasing her dreams to be an actress who is supported by her black housekeeper, Annie in the raising of her daughter Susie  alongside Annie’s own  ‘light-skinned’ daughter Sarah Jane. Lana Turner plays the ambitious and glamorous Lora and, along with the marvellously good-looking John Gavin as her love interest and a perky Sandra Dee as Susie, provides much of the froth and bubble as well as a little wry humour throughout the film. But as things unfold, it is the relationship between Annie and Sarah Jane which gives this story its real potency.

This film was made in 1959. It would have been quite a daring affront to the ‘seen and not heard’ issue of black and white America but more importantly, the film shows that there’s more to the world than merely a black versus white view and Susan Kohner’s rebellious and then bittersweet performance of Sarah Jane captures this better than any words I could write here. And the industry obviously thought so too with Kohner winning a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress as well as an Oscar nomination (along with Juanita Moore for her portrayal of Annie).

Two and a half hours flew by and before I knew it, I was sitting contentedly on the bus coming home filled with absolute delight at my new discovery. 

At the venue or the film? I hear you ask.

I can’t decide.

Visit The Phoenix. See Imitation of Life.

I’d recommend both.

An Urban Thriller…The End

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It’s quiet.
Not a sound.
I’m pleased to report
Has found
The bait I laid down.
With patience I waited,
With pellets of green
In a little white tray
Four times baited.
(A poisonous hue
As ever I’d seen.)
And now my abode
Is quiet and still.
The scrabbling has ceased
And it would appear
My guest ate his fill
And ventures no more.

An Urban Thriller Part 1….

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There’s a mouse in my house.
An unwelcome guest,
A worry, a pain,
An unsightly pest.
For my pragmatic mettle, a test.
I thought I heard something
From my sofa this week
And when I looked up
My eyes caught a streak.
With a scurry, a squeak
It vanished so fast,
I thought it a dream.
No sign ’round the fridge
Where I thought I had seen
A tail most obscene
Disappear.
But last night there were noises
A few rustling sounds
So I tip-toed straight in
Stood my stockinged-feet ground
And waited.
And guess what I found.
With a flick of the switch
The room was alight
And against the white floor tiles
I took in the sight
Of a furry black critter
In flight.
So I turned off the light
And closed off the room.
And this morning I searched,
A harbinger of doom,
For something to rid that pest
From my room.
Now the trap has been set
And I patiently wait
‘Til my unwelcome guest
Tempts its unwitting fate
By taking the bait….
Source: Andrea Borges on pinterest
…to be continued

Passage of Time…

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One of my most inspiring moments during my recent trip to Dublin occurred at Newgrange in the Boyne Valley. Mum had been disappointed to miss this last time she visited, so this was on the ‘must do’ list for our soujourn in the Emerald Isle. It was awesome – and I mean that in the original sense of the word.

Newgrange is a 45 minute drive north of Dublin and is part of a complex of 40 passage tombs located in the Boyne Valley. It was built approximately 5,000 years ago, pre-dating the Great Pyramids of Giza and, along with neighbouring passage tombs Knowth and Dowth, has been designated a World Heritage Site by UNESCO.



Most famously, Newgrange is recognised for its importance in relation to the Winter Solstice. On the 21st December each year, the rising sun sends shafts of light through the roofbox above the main entrance, the light creeping forward in a point shaped by the walls of the passage to illuminate the sacred chamber at the end before receding for another year. Even more fascinating is that this ritual is mirrored at Dowth at sunset on the same day.

The illuminated passage at Newgrange. Source: http://www.newgrange.com

It is difficult to imagine just how these were built. Much like the more famous temples of ancient Egypt and Britain’s own Stonehenge, there is continued fascination surrounding their positioning and enduring construction methods as well as the role that these monuments played in the life of Stone Age communities.

Evidence has been found of farming in the area as early as 3800 BC but it appears that the main construction of Newgrange commenced in 3300 BC. It is suggested that Newgrange was built to the shape of the ridge and the original ground plan laid out first with both the entrance stone and back stone placed along with the stone at the back of the main chamber as markers.
From about 3000 BC, Newgrange took its final shape. This model shows 4 smaller passage tombs built, some before and some afterwards, in line with Newgrange.
After the final blocking stone was placed, the focus moved to external monuments from 2800 BC for a period of 600 years.
Access to Newgrange is a 4 minute trip by bus from the Visitor Centre and only available with a guide so we booked our places and spent an hour completely amazed….
Newgrange from the Bru na Boinne Visitor Centre
Newgrange is surrounded by stone markers, the significance of which remains a mystery.
Going inside the tomb was completely amazing and included a short ‘re-enactment’ of the Solstice experience. To think that we stood under a 5,000 year old corbelled stone ceiling that no light or water has ever penetrated. Awe-inspring stuff.

There are a number of highly decorated stones at Newgrange both inside and outside the monument. Many show the triple spiral which has featured in carvings as far back as those of the Australian Aborigines 40,000 years ago.
The views from the entrance of Newgrange across the Boyne Valley are spectacular. Most of our visit was beneath sunny blue skies but this moment of cloud gave it something of a portentous feel.
These photos do not come close to doing it justice but how do you capture a sense of history and atmosphere like that? All I can say is that this was my trip highlight, my enchanted moment so to speak. In fact I was so inspired that I entered the lottery to attend this year’s Winter Solstice at Newgrange so keep your fingers crossed for me! 

Oh and I get to take ‘a friend’….any takers?

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Interested in finding out more about Newgrange and the passage tombs of the Boyne Valley? Check out http://www.knowth.com/bru-na-boinne.htm